i am this close to giving up.

i don't think i can do this anymore.

but i have to.

now it feels like work.

if only i can give this up.

ohh, help.

been in a blah mood for quite some time now.

working hard (a.k.a wringing my brain out for more words to come out) these past couple of months has taken its toll on me. i don't mind the fatigue that late nights cause in scrambling to beat surprise deadlines, but having my work blasted when i know i worked hard to make it good, well that's a different story. i've been wondering how i'll be able to bring it up to the person--that is, if ever i get to have the courage to do so.

then there's the matter of the storm pouring on manila last saturday like there was no tomorrow. helping out did wonders to my spirits. but the impending arrival of the second storm and the subsequent frequent warnings on the radio, on fb and even texts the whole week dampened whatever little happy mood i've got left.

AND then the overall gloomy weather just tops it all, something like a bitter cherry on top of a gloppy, muddy mess of my mind, all mushed up.

this feeling i have at the moment is something that chocolates cannot ever work their magic on (i'm just not one of those people relying on chocolates to feel happy anyhow).  sleeping doesn't work either, as i wake up feeling the same way before i fell asleep, so scratch that.

earlier tonight i was just lounging around radio surfing when i came across a station playing bad day by daniel powter. then he sang this line:

so where is the passion when you need it the most?

i laughed. bitterly.

the line says it all.

such a nice episode this is. might as well enjoy it, for it may be my last.

but i'm still praying that it isn't.

oh, Lord, please.

too much thinking.

need to unload.

must not forget. must fight.

i am forever grateful to Him because he gave me you.

and thank you for everything as well.

i love you

*hugs*

grabe talaga ang pagmamahal. bakit kaya ganun, no? kapag may minahal kang isang tao nang lubos, sa kabilang dako makakaramdam ka rin pala ng kaba na balang araw baka mawala siya sa buhay mo.

siyanga naman ang buhay, o.

nagmumuni-muni lang po.

dahil hindi na gaano kadramatic ang buhay ko nitong mga nakaraang araw, naghahanap ako ng kadramahang mababasa para matawa.

ay ano daw ulit yun?!

i've said it before and i'll say it again.

I. HATE. DEALING. WITH. EMOTIONAL. AND. ULTRA-SENSITIVE. PEOPLE.

I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nyeta wag kasing mag-aasume!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

buwiset!

sabi nila,

ang buhay daw ay parang gulong.

minsan nasa taas ka, minsan nasa ibaba.

heto ang sabi ko.

ang buhay ay parang gulong.

minsan nasa taas ka, minsan nasa ibaba.

at kung mamalasin ka nga naman,

mafa-flat-an ka.

kaya ang masasabi ko

flat ang gulong ng buhay ko ngayon.

hindi ako makausad.

malungkot man ang katotohanan

yun talaga eh.